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One thing we have been struck with has been the important role that dinner plays in the social (or not-so-social) lives of most older adults.
Nobody likes the idea of spending years cooking for themselves and eating alone.
And while it can likely feel faceless and impersonal at times, I’m reminded of this 1920 ad in a newspaper called the “Middle ranking civil servant, single, Catholic, 43-years-old, immaculate past, from the countryside, is seeking a good Catholic pure girl, who can cook well, and who can do all housework, who is also capable of sewing and a good homemaker in order to marry at the soonest opportunity.” It was in responding to that ad that Maria Peintner met a police officer named Joseph.
They married and had three kids, including two sons, who each became priests.
Once you get into your fifties and beyond, the actual number of your age becomes less and less significant.
Far more important is what shape you are in, how healthy you are, what activities you can do. If you’re active and like going for long walks and playing golf, you’re going to be much more interested in the fit and energetic 82-year-old who can share your activities than the 65-year-old with the hip replacement who can no longer walk long distances. The other stunning aspect of dating for young people is how much looks matter.
Katrina’s argument against, in a nutshell, is that online dating promotes a view of dating that commodifies the other person rather than treating them as individuals.
Part of this is probably the wisdom that comes with age, but even more significant is an essential truth about how age works.One of the side projects that I work on is a bi-weekly “talk show” on You Tube called The Catholic Five, so named because there are four other people involved: David L.Gray (of David LGray.info), Katrina Fernandez (The Crescat at Patheos), Brantly Callaway Millegan (Founder and Editor of Church POP), and Kevin M. Last Saturday, there was an interesting discussion on Catholic online dating – and online dating more broadly – that I wanted to revisit: As you can see from the clip, we’re coming from three different perspectives: Katrina and David have had negative experiences with online dating; Kevin met his wife online; and Brantly and I are outsiders, having never experienced it up close.What stands out as the most important aspect of a person when determining if you may be a potential match? With Tinder (and pretty much every other online dating system on the market today) the photo is all-important.This reinforces a message that young people get hammered with on a daily basis: nothing matters more than how you look.
Once you’re into your wisdom years your needs, desires and expectations are very different from what you’re looking for when you’re in your 20s.